Preparing for Couples Therapy — What You Need to Know

Thank you for considering couples therapy. The information below outlines what you can expect from our work together, including the therapeutic process, timeline, and important considerations.

I encourage both partners to read this page carefully. Please let me know if you have any questions about what’s included. Your questions are welcome and expected. Understanding the therapy process helps us build a strong foundation for our work together.

Why go to couples therapy?

Every relationship faces challenges. When individuals share their lives closely, tensions and difficulties inevitably arise. Some couples navigate these waters successfully on their own, while others may seek help and support. Couples therapy can help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface and provide you with an opportunity to transform your relationship.

Common Relationship Challenges

You might be experiencing challenges in one or a few of the following ways:

  • You experience communication breakdowns that lead to repetitive conflicts

  • You maintain or experience an emotional distance or have feelings of disconnection

  • You are working through the recovery from relationship betrayal

  • You are experiencing emotional unavailability or have difficulty expressing your needs

  • You have concerns with the level of intimacy, whether physical or emotional

  • The relationship contains differences in desire or sexual compatibility

  • The relationship contains power dynamics that feel unbalanced or controlling

  • You’re finding it difficult to adapt to major life changes (such as parenthood, work, or relocation)

  • Immediate or extended family dynamics are affecting your partnership

My Therapeutic Approach

As your therapist, I maintain an impartial and non-judgemental position. Rather than assigning blame or determining right from wrong, we focus on understanding each partner’s perspective and desired outcomes. This approach allows us to:

  • Examine how each person experiences the relationship challenges

  • Identify patterns that may be causing disconnection

  • Develop new strategies for meaningful interaction

  • Build awareness of underlying dynamics

  • Create pathways for positive change

I use an integrative model of therapeutic approaches, including Psychodynamic Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), and Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO). This allows me to adapt therapy to your needs. We can discuss the therapeutic approach at any time during our work together.

Who I Support

I provide therapy for all relationships regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationship structure. I recognise that cultural, religious, and personal values deeply influence how we approach relationships, and I’m committed to honouring your relationship’s specific context while helping you work toward your goals.

Getting Started - the First Steps

Consultation Calls

Before your first couples therapy session, each partner must complete a 20-minute consultation call with me. These two initial conversations will help me understand your situation and ensure that what I offer fits your needs. We’ll discuss practical matters such as scheduling and confidentiality, and I can answer questions you may have about working together.

Pre-therapy Questionnaire

Following your consultations, each partner will be sent a questionnaire to complete and return before the initial session. By completing the questionnaire, you will have a chance to reflect on your current situation and provide me with helpful information to enhance our work.

Therapy Agreement

You will receive a therapy agreement to review and sign before the initial session. This will include detailed information about confidentiality and terms.

Our Initial Session

Your first session, which lasts 80 minutes, allows both partners to share their perspectives and concerns. We’ll discuss your relationship history, current challenges, and what you hope to achieve through therapy. We can also identify key areas of conflict or disconnection, understand your communication patterns, and discuss your goals for therapy.

Session Scheduling

Sessions are typically held at a set weekly time that works for everyone. All couples therapy sessions, including the initial session, are 80 minutes long.

Fees

The fee for an 80-minute couples therapy session is £180. Payment is due 48 hours before the session time.

Timeline and Commitment

When beginning therapy, it is common to wonder, how long does couples therapy take?

Every relationship is different. Some couples achieve their goals in a few sessions, while others benefit from longer-term support. The average therapy duration is 6 to 12 months. Creating lasting change in a relationship is possible, but it can take time.

Sessions are held weekly for the first three months of working together. After that period, we can discuss the frequency of sessions.

Therapeutic Benefits

By choosing to attend couples therapy, you are investing in the most significant relationship in your life.

From this process, you will gain:

  • A deeper understanding of yourself as a partner in this relationship

  • Awareness of what matters most to you in this relationship and ways to express that

  • More effective ways to communicate

  • A better understanding of where the relationship is getting stuck and what part you can play to get a more positive outcome

  • Deeper intimacy and connection within the relationship

  • New ways to connect with your partner

  • More options to explore with your partner to resolve your differences

This is not an exhaustive list. Some items will be more specific to your relationship.

Important Considerations

Participation

To make progress in couples therapy, both partners must willingly come and participate in the process.

It is typical for both partners to attend all sessions together during the first few months of therapy. After this initial period, it can be discussed whether it would benefit one or both partners to have individual sessions.

In some sessions, we might focus more on one partner than the other based on what might provide the best insight and progress for the couple. This can be discussed in the session.

Transparency in Couples Therapy

It is important for us to maintain complete transparency in our communication.

Any content shared in individual sessions is part of couples therapy. Therefore, do not share anything in an individual session or with me directly that you would not want to share in a couples session.

If you email me, please ensure you always copy your partner, even if it is about an appointment change or invoice. I do not take phone calls with individual clients outside of the sessions unless there is an emergency.

Confidentiality

The information the couple shares with me will be kept confidential, except in exceptional circumstances when it has to be shared for your safety or the safety of others. I may break our normal confidentiality if I become aware of an incident or situation that may be dangerous or harmful to you or another person and is unknown to the relevant authorities. If I become concerned, I will endeavour to discuss this with you in advance of any disclosure.

I may anonymously discuss your case with my clinical supervisor to ensure that I am working in your best interests and providing the best therapy I can for you.

Maintaining Respect

It is expected that strong emotions, including anger, can be present in therapy. I maintain a zero-tolerance policy for hostile or abusive behaviour. This includes shouting, name-calling, put-downs, and contempt. I will terminate therapy if you do not respect this.

When Couples Therapy May Not Be Appropriate

We cannot proceed with couples therapy in cases of active domestic violence or severe abuse. If you are experiencing violence or abuse, you may wish to reach out to an organisation or authority that can offer support and guidance.

We also cannot proceed with couples therapy in the case of one or both partners experiencing an untreated substance abuse issue or an unmanaged serious mental health condition. This includes clinical depression, extreme anxiety, OCD, psychosis, and schizophrenia. If an issue or condition is being treated and monitored, then it can be possible to proceed with couples therapy.

Questions

If you have any questions about what I’ve shared here, please ask. Email francesca.sciandra.therapy@gmail.com.

Begin your journey towards a stronger, more vibrant relationship.