Couples Therapy for Jealousy, Anger, and Emotional Regulation
Integrative and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) — UK & Online
Strong emotions can take over a relationship very quickly. Jealousy, anger, fear, or overwhelm may arise suddenly, escalate fast, and leave both partners feeling out of control, misunderstood, or ashamed of what was said or done.
Couples therapy offers a contained, supportive space to understand what is happening beneath these intense reactions and to develop safer, more connected ways of responding to one another, even when emotions run high.
When emotions feel hard to manage together
You may recognise your relationship in some of the following experiences:
Arguments escalate rapidly and feel difficult to stop once they begin
Jealousy, suspicion, or fear of loss fuels conflict and reassurance-seeking
Anger surfaces suddenly or lingers long after disagreements have ended
One partner becomes emotionally flooded while the other shuts down or withdraws
You worry about ‘losing control’ in conflict or saying things you later regret
These patterns are painful, but they are also understandable. Strong emotional reactions usually develop for a reason.
Strong emotions are signals, not failures
Anger, jealousy, and emotional reactivity are often misunderstood as character flaws or signs that something is wrong with one or both partners. In reality, these emotions are frequently protective responses that arise when attachment, trust, or emotional safety feels threatened.
When the nervous system perceives danger - whether real or imagined - it moves quickly into fight, flight, or shutdown. Without support, couples can become caught in cycles of escalation and withdrawal that neither partner consciously chooses, yet both suffer within.
Therapy offers a place to work with these emotions rather than against them.
Emotional regulation happens in relationship
Many people try to manage strong emotions through willpower, logic, or self-control. While these strategies can help at times, they often fail in moments of relational stress.
Emotional regulation is not just an individual skill - it is deeply relational. We regulate best when we feel emotionally safe, understood, and met by another person. Couples therapy provides a supported relational space where emotions can slow down, be named, and be responded to differently.
Over time, this creates new experiences of safety that make regulation possible.
How online couples therapy supports emotional regulation
My work with couples experiencing high emotional intensity is grounded in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and informed by humanistic and psychodynamic approaches. This combination allows us to work with strong emotions while maintaining structure and containment.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)
EFCT helps us understand how emotional reactions are organised within the relationship. Together, we will:
Identify cycles of escalation, shutdown, or emotional flooding
Slow these patterns down as they happen between you
Understand the attachment fears driving anger or jealousy
Create safer ways of expressing needs and vulnerability
Relational emotion regulation
Rather than focusing on control or suppression, therapy supports:
Learning to co-regulate rather than polarise
Increasing tolerance for emotional intensity
Building trust in each other’s emotional availability
Reducing fear of conflict and strong feelings
Psychodynamic understanding
We also explore how earlier relational experiences shape present emotional responses. This helps make sense of defensive emotions such as rage, suspicion, or withdrawal, and reduces the likelihood of repeating painful patterns unconsciously.
What couples often notice over time
Every relationship is different, but couples who engage consistently in this work often describe:
Conflicts that slow down and feel less overwhelming
Reduced emotional flooding and shutdown
Greater confidence that emotions can be expressed safely
Anger and jealousy becoming understandable signals rather than threats
A growing sense of emotional safety and connection during difficult moments
These changes usually unfold gradually as new relational experiences replace old reactive patterns.
Is this the right kind of couples therapy for you?
This work is particularly well-suited to couples who:
Experience high emotional reactivity or volatility
Feel frightened by the intensity of their own or their partner’s emotions
Want to understand emotions rather than suppress or control them
Are willing to commit to weekly therapy over several months
It may not be the best fit if you are looking for quick anger-management techniques, individual blame-focused solutions, or short-term crisis containment alone.
Structure, commitment, and fees
Frequency: Weekly 80-minute sessions. This structure supports the depth, continuity, and emotional safety required when working with attachment and intimacy.
Typical commitment: 3 to 6 months
Fee: £240 per session. More information about my fees can be viewed here.
Online sessions take place online via secure video, allowing me to work with couples across the UK and internationally. Online therapy can be especially supportive for busy professionals or couples living in different locations, while still offering depth and relational presence.
If you are looking for a more focused and immediate approach to stabilise your relationship, I also offer 2-day couples intensives.
Your couples therapist
I’m Francesca, a qualified therapist with specialist training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT). I work with couples experiencing jealousy, anger, emotional flooding, and shutdown within their relationships.
My approach is warm, grounded, and relational. I aim to provide a calm, containing space where strong emotions can be held safely and understood, rather than feared or acted out.
Common Questions About Couples Therapy
How long does couples therapy take?
Many couples benefit from 3 to 6 months of weekly sessions to achieve meaningful change, though some continue for longer to achieve deeper work.
What if my partner is reluctant to attend?
It’s common for one partner to be more hesitant initially. For couples therapy to be effective, both partners must commit to participating in the process and attending sessions.
What happens in the first session?
We’ll explore your relationship history, current challenges, and what you’re each hoping for. I’ll begin to identify your conflict cycle and help both of you feel heard and understood from the start.
Online Couples Therapy for Jealousy, Anger, and Emotional Regulation
Book your consultation
If strong emotions are dominating your relationship and you would like support to understand and regulate them together, an initial consultation is the next step. The 20-minute consultation with each partner allows us to:
Explore what’s happening in your relationship right now
Understand your goals and concerns
Assess whether my approach feels right for you
Discuss how we might work together moving forward